The Stories of Our Names



Main Course

The Stories of Our Names

When was the last time you thought–really thought–about the story of your name?

A few years ago I co-facilitated a six-session workshop series, alongside my colleagues Ophelia Bitanga-Isreal and Kuʻulani Keohokalole. The series was an exploration of race, culture, power, privilege, and the pursuit of racial equity in the context of Hawaiʻi. We knew we needed to set a tone of openness, connection, and vulnerability from the outset, given the weighty and fraught topics we were going to discuss together. We chose to do so by inviting the participants to share the stories of their names, using this prompt:

As you know, Hawaiʻi is a very relationship-based place. In ʻŌlelo Hawaiʻi, the question, "What is your name?" is phrased as, "ʻO wai kou inoa?" literally translated as, "WHO is your name?" The ways in which our names have been derived tell us a lot about their connections to family, lineage, history, identity, and place.
We’d like to ask you to write a short piece (one page or less) about your name, to help us and your peers get to know you. Some sample questions you can consider answering are: Who gave you your name & why? What is the ethnic origin of your name? What are your nicknames, if any? What do you prefer to be called? Feel free to be creative. Stories, poetry, humor, listed adjectives, etc. are all welcome.

To help the participants get started, the three of us each shared a written piece about our respective names. Here is the one I wrote about mine…

I was reminded of this piece of writing at a recent meeting when, as a small group of us were getting introduced, we were asked to share the stories of our names. It was a small shift from protocol; many of us are accustomed to being asked our name and what we do upon meeting someone new.

The invitation to share stories, however, leapfrogged the usual barriers to connection. In sharing our name stories, we got to peer through small windows into one another’s lineage and heritage. We heard about the meanings of our names and the ways in which they reflect-and sometimes have actively shaped- our sense of self and belonging. We learned of family immigrations and our parents’ hopes and aspirations for their children. We spoke of connections across and within generations. And in sharing these things, it was hard not to feel a greater sense of trust and connection with the others in the room.

Imagine if you could begin every new introduction by sharing a bit about the story of your name. You might vary the snippet you tell, depending on who you are meeting and how you are feeling that day. But think about the window it could open on who you are, beyond what you are called. What might the insights from that story reveal to others? What would that make possible, in our attempts to see one another, and to be seen?

I invite you to take a few moments to respond and let me know: What is the story of your name? Or, as posed in the prompt above, WHO is your name?

I’d love to hear from you.


Quick Bites

Photo credit: Connie Aramaki

I Got My Name from Connie Chung. So Did They.

In this New York Times opinion piece, Connie Wang describes her realization that she is part of "Generation Connie": a sisterhood of Asian American women whose parents were inspired to name their daughters after a certain, very prominent CBS evening news anchor.

Credit: Instagram @drabhaydandekar

From Lotus to POTUS

I came across this post a few weeks ago, and I'm enjoying it even more on the heels of last week's Democratic National Convention. I love the rhyming word play, and the knowing recognition that Kamala Harris' heritage--as the daughter of an Indian mother and a Jamaican father--might be a part of the story that carries her to the highest office in the US.


Something Sweet

Speaking of introductions, allow me to introduce our dog, Sandy. We adopted Sandy a little over 10 years ago from the Hawaiian Humane Society. She had apparently been found wandering the streets of Kapolei, and she was given the name "Lucy" upon intake. (Our boys, who were 10 and 7 at the time, found this quite funny because the first name of our older son's teacher at the time was also Lucy.) After we adopted Lucy, we gave our sons the option of renaming her (the dog, not the teacher ;^). My younger suggested "Sandy" since her fur is the color of sand, and that's how she's been known ever since. Well, that's only partly true, because she's accrued a whole bevy of other names, only some of which are derivative of "Sandy": Sanders, Sandelly, Sandolina, Sandini, Sandelia Dogheart, Miss Boops, Miss Beans, Little Bear, Pupperoni--you get the idea. The number of nicknames we have for Sandy is directly proportional to our affection for her, a sentiment I'm sure other pet owners share!


With warmth and aloha,

Joyce

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